Dreaming and Pretending

It is Sunday morning and for some strange reasons, I am trying to think about my life: probably because I am reaching a couple of anniversary dates.

I have met you and put all the energy I thought was necessary to help things go well, smooth. Spoiling some of my good time just because I thought it would help and improve whatever needed to be improved. But Fame is filled with spoiled children who grow fat on fantasy.
And I guess that's why I'm turning the page, because I’m craving for reality.

The main point that my morning thinking is leading me to, the crucial thing is that there is a difference between dreaming and pretending. I was obviously pretending and trying too hard.

I did not find paradise: My lonely mind was only twinkling reality, searching for what is missing in my Life or what I thought was missing. The big surprise is that I wasn’t expecting that you would be the one doing so much to me. I thought we were good together, I saw us in the mirror of your eyes and I was sure it was good. My Mind was screaming it out loud; My Heart was beating for it. But one’s Heart can hallucinate if it's completely starved for Love.

So what happened? Well, I guess the arrows of Love were turned against me. I was the one grapping then and I have been the one gasping when I used them to cut the last of my heartstring. Surprisingly it opened my eyes, You opened my eyes.

There is a difference between dreaming and pretending. And looking back in the mirror of your eyes I now believe it wasn’t Love but most probably just a reflection of my lonely mind wanting what was missing in my Life. What I thought was missing.

So what is the difference between dreaming and pretending?
Dreaming is a good thing: it helps conceptualizing the first bricks and leads to bring new things to life. Pretending is the worse you could do to yourself as it is purely an ending that perpetuates a lie: you forget what you are and makes you see what your mind yields you too see. I need to grow up. I need to grow up and keep on dreaming. You need to learn to focus and channel your dreams.
I need to trust my ability to understand the difference between the ones you can hold and the ones that you've been sold. So I guess all it was, was pretending.

I am still wishing that I am wrong while going through this morning thinking.
The only thing which could prove me wrong is a sign, a real sign…

I think it was just my wandering mind wanting and wishing that you were what was missing in my Life. The Mind is a beautiful thing, so should my Life be.
I am still smiling when I think about You, the air around me got suddenly thinner because I think about myself lightly.
I am still aspiring for someone to share things with, to talk to. For talking at its best being an inspiration, it wants a corresponding divine quality of receptiveness, and where will you find this but in You?