Wednesday, May 24, 2006

The idea of you and the air I carry around.

I believe that uncertainty is really my spirit’s way of whispering, “I’m in flux, I can’t decide for you. Something is off balance".
This uncertainty is the fuel to all my feelings and, unfortunately also the reason why i never know if I should speak about them, nor share them.
It is obvious that a lack of communication is as bad as total openness, unfortunately I do not sense up to what level I can go.
Talking about feelings is easy, sharing them or unveiling them is difficult.

The Idea I had of you was, clearly, not different from who you seem to be.
The air I carry around leads, unfortunately, people to picture me as a totally different man and you are one of them.
The Idea I had of you is still making me smile, I will keep on smiling regardless.
The air I carry around is still creating damages as it yields people that I am not who I seem to be: there would be, they believe, another man hiding.

MisterWing would be closer to Doctor Jeckyll and Mister Hyde than to himself?

You cannot change people mind, nor should you try as that would be manipulation. The only thing you can do is open your heart and mind for them to look into you and make up their own mind. By doing so, I am also putting myself in grave danger as I remove all protective layers and expose my core, Me. Sincerity is something that people are not used to and when they sense something like this is happening they refuse to believe and start elaborating theories, they speak about lies… They feel betrayed, used and trapped.
Without trying to manipulate ones mind, I am facing a bigger problem as I can only put facts in front of passionate accusations. How could bare facts and acts beat deeply engrained feelings of betrayal? What should I do to make people understand that I am who they see, should this be a concern? Well, actually, it is not:

If you can solve your problem, then what is the need of worrying?
If you cannot solve it, then what is the use of worrying?
I do not worry, I am just being myself.


The animosity I encounter in this kind of situation isn’t a problem as I understand where it is coming from. Just time can prove that there isn’t an underlying layer.
I will keep on living my seconds the same way. I am weighting all my acts using the three major pillars I rely on: Strength, Intelligence and Beauty.
I will keep on improving myself, strolling through the days.
It doesn’t matter what is the air you breath.

The air I carry around is a burden but thinking about You makes me smile, still.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Broken...



And luckily it isn't my right hand!