Monday, January 30, 2006

Cold days seem to hurt the most


Cold days seem to hurt the most and I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
I feel you everywhere I go: I see your smile, I see your face and imagine you going ‘brrrrrrrrrr’, warming up your nose with your palm.
I hear you laughing in the rain, still can't believe you’re gone!How could you just loose it?
So simply, so totally?
It is now like a story that had just begun and already finished.
God knows how I sometimes miss you.
All the hell that I've been through!
All the hell you have put me through when you needed support.
Sometimes I wonder who you are today.

Do you enjoy your world?
Will you chase your dreams again?
These dreams you sold cheap, so fuckin’ cheap!
Settle down with a family, another one?
I wonder what you will name your babies!
Some day’s the sky's so blue, I feel like I can talk to you!
And I know it might sound crazy.

Usually after these few minutes, I look around and sight. I look at my world and I embrace it.
Maybe one day I will settle down and have a family but never will I stop chasing my dream: even you couldn’t stop me. And I know it is part of the issue: you are a control freak, because you are unsecure.
When the sky is so blue, as blue as your beautiful eyes, I am happy to realize that I am blessed to have known you, but i am happier not to be your partner anymore.

I still wonder who you ever have been!

life, this wonderful play

I think of life itself now as a wonderful play that I've written for myself, and so my purpose is to have the utmost fun playing my part.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Just looking back and checking


Nails scratching wooden surface and eyes red from tears like blood. Torn hair in clenching fist, a guttural scream from the mouth you kissed. Just looking back and checking.

It seems so far away now, just as if it has never been! Somehow it seems much clearer, an eye for a lie in every scene.
I was so lucky on that day, You know: I was almost letting it go!
I was almost making the great leap!!!
When you kissed him, what a lucky turn it was for me!

Things will work out better the second time around.
Because, this is beauty that I will find. I won't settle for less than a beautiful heart.
She will be breathing in my ear, I will be whispering in hers.
What a sound she’ll make!

Compared to this, you are nothing but the dead leaves falling to the ground...
Happy landing, baby.


You mistreated me, never let me be: trying to turn me into who you wanted, wasn’t me!
And the lies you told!
I was too blind to see you, when you were tightening the noose.

To see you, you only wanted me to loose: you control freak.
Constantly unsecured due to your inadequacy: I was so lonely lonely...

It seems so far away now.

Nails sliding on glass walls, and cheeks painful from way too much laughs.
Halo of peacefulness, cheers to the rightful.
Just looking ahead and planning.
Kisses will maybe come later.

Tiger will enjoy the dog, hopes to see monkeys passing by.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006