The King, The Queen and The Fool

It is early morning, sitting in my couch I think about my good friends going through the Lovers’ game and unfortunately not getting the best out of it.

It reminds me of these moments when I was caught in the middle of the insane game, in the fight of every minutes against the world and myself.

It is amazing how strong you believe that the one you aim at came along when you needed a savior.

Relying on the person, feeling the support and believing that this one savior will pull you through somehow. But we all know that the past is heavy and that because you have been torn apart so many times, you are counting on the other one now.

By doing this you just expose your chest again even if someone already broke your heart.

This very moment will always fascinate me.

It is no rational and goes against anything a normal human being would advise, but then all normal human beings have done it more than once.

Someone already broke your heart, and yet you are going to letthis happen again.

Somebody did break your heart but maybe you need more pain.

So, here you are and all you beg for is not to be left stranded.

You stress and wonder.

All your reality doesn’t worth anything because you hang on the edge of a lie.

But who the hell is lying?

Your previous wounds weren’t as healed as you thought: torn apart, broken hearted all you want is care and kindness. You want someone by your side, because you are cold and lonely.

You want someone to hold you tight and never leave. You are down on your knees and afraid, you hope to have someone supporting you.

You are in Love and you bleed because you don’t know...

That’s the very moment you become monarchy.

You are the King or the Queen of your own sorrows.

In this chess of Love, are you really King/Queen or more the fool?

You are playing but you don’t wanna lose.

It would break your heart, torn you apart.
That’s when you are fully you.

Your soul tries to reach out and jumps out of your skin. This isn’t pain you feel, this is excitement.
This passion burns you, consumes you.

If you don’t act you will torn yourself apart and break someone’s heart.
Because you both are on the edge of the same lie!!!
Because you both are monarchy, I am the fool.
Jut act.

La boucle est bouclee.

Fabas indulcet fames*

I was on an emotional rollercoaster when i was with you, and what i ride it has been!
Trying to be with you, Loving you wasn't healthy.
You were my favorite cake but you weren't good for me.
It was just not natural the way it was, it wasn't right even if you definitely are gathering a lot of the things i am attracted to.
I inquired about who you are and what you really do every day. I decided to know more about you not just listen to who you think you are.
I have just been analyzing, without passion, facts and tried to find out why i was so found of you at some stage.
You are gifted and beautiful that's a fact, and that's the truth. I have always been attracted by gifted women, their glow is honey to me. This is why i kept on flying to your little light and disregarded to window i was bumping into every time.
But, as a person, you haven't reached any state of achievement and your constant struggle with reality, your incapacity to understand some basic principles have made you an insecure woman. This insecurity made me feel guilty and somehow the white knight in me wanted to save you from your fears and show you how great Life is. I wanted to drag you away from your personal hell.

It was also because i was hungry for Love, i was in need of providing Love. I have so much to give, for free!
This hunger made you shinnier to my eyes.

Your little light and my hunger, i have set myself up. This is the reaso why i was so uncomfortable sometimes and the main reason why communicating with you was so difficult.
In a way, you were correct when you said i was in Love with the idea of you.
I am glad you walked away.

You don't even seem to be worth a friend.
Are you capable of being a friend?
Do i really care?

* hunger makes everything taste good