A bit(e) on Religions

That cross you wear around your neck, is it only a decoration, or are you a TRUE Christian believer?

Yes, I believe - TRULY.

Then I want you to remove it at once- and never to wear it again!
Do you know how a falcon is trained my dear?
Her eyes are sewn shut. Blinded temporarily she suffers the whims of her God patiently, until her will is submerged and she learns to serve - as your God taught and blinded you with crosses.
You had me take off my cross because it offended....
It offended no-one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No - it simply appears to me to be discourteous to... to wear the symbol of a deity long dead.
Our ancestors tried to find IT. They fought for IT, killed for IT and to open the door that separates us from our Creator.
But you need no doors to find God.
If you believe....
Believe?! If you believe you are...gullible.
Can you look around this world and believe in the goodness of a God who rules it?

Famine, Pestilence, War, Disease and Death! THEY rule this world!!!!
There is also Love and Life and Hope.
Very little Hope I assure you.

No. If a God of Love and Life ever did exist...
IT is long since dead.
Someone...Something rules in His place.

The Big Mistake

The big mistake that men make is that when they turn thirteen or fourteen and all of a sudden they've reached puberty, they believe that they like women. Actually, you're just horny. It doesn't mean you like women any more at twenty-one than you did at ten.

LOVE

LOVE, n.
A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder. This disease, like caries and many other ailments, is prevalent only among civilized races living under artificial conditions; barbarous nations breathing pure air and eating simple food enjoy immunity from its ravages.


This morning, I woke up in a daze.

I was surfing under the full moon two nights ago and last night i had a bbq on the rooftop of a building.
After a really fun evening, I sat home and I started thinking about how better the evening could have been. I started to imagine how much better it would have been with Her by my side. And I realize that I was just setting myself up! I am trying to make myself sad! But i am not wanting Her anymore! She has refused it all, let it be!
I realize that it could not have been any better, because She isn’t the one who I would like to have beside me! Maybe the evening could have been better if I had somebody who makes me blush every time I get a glimpse of her, trying to focus on the conversation I’m having, as my mind goes wandering…
But this person isn’t around and the one I thought were, didn’t decide to step into my world and it is just a fact: no hard feelings about it anymore either.
It is clear that I have stopped turning my head and look back at what happened before, winging.
One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.
This is a real fact also, and everyone I met has this tendency: procrastination and angst!!! That’s what is blowing up this inner candle, not the harm caused by the events themselves.

But to revive this flame, worse case scenario, one should learn to give again. When you give yourself, you receive more than you give and that’s what is bringing your spirit up!!!! I now look at the World as a provider of good events and my energy is multiplied by a thousand. I have met great people last night, and I spoke about karma. I actually listened to a yogi talking about karma, and explaining how is chakras are opening (it was sounding a bit erotic sometimes, I wonder if he has hard ons when he reaches the state he was describing)… I will have my first yoga lesson on Thursday…

I have forgiven, I keep on repeating it but I want to make sure I am not fooling myself. I am the easiest one who I can fool sometimes.
I have reached forgiveness this answer to the child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again.

I am definitely soaking up my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Will I share it with someone one day?
It is not a concern, and if She passes by and sees me then we will dance.
My fingers are still spread out in a fan, and I am accepting You to touch them but if and only if You can stare at my eyes and accept the flame You'll see.
You will then be mine and the World will be our playground because I will share it with You…

Until then, I will keep on being free: my only freedom, the one of my mind.

You and hide

In my flat, facing the glass window, warmth from outside licking my cheeks.

I can see through the buildings, all is quiet and remain unchanged. Up through the buildings and in different skies, it's heavy with silence: like You&I now.
Why did we make each other cry?
Why did we do that when we both know we loved each other so. Yes we both knew.
From my flat, the stars look so dull and dark. I am comfortably numb but I want to wake up. Tonight I feel alone. I am remembering every fight, when we were loosing bits of You&I each time.
Oh baby, I wish you could have heard me, and feel how much I loved you. I never wanted to fight with you, just wanted to make things right for you, for us... Cause I care about You.
Up from my flat, I can't see much...
The shrapnel from our explosive break up are still deep in my heart, I am still licking my wounds. Bleeding heart over pictures of You&I...
Evaluating the waste, evaluating the damages.
Evaluating what we were, You&I.
You&I no more, no more!
We now are You, & I am gone.

A man of Passions

Passion is an amazing thing, to which I surrender myself. I am usually described as an even-tempered man, actually more often told that I am way too cold with people…
The most wonderful of all things in Life, I believe, is the discovery of another human being with whom one's relationship has a glowing depth, beauty, and joy (even as the number of years together increases). This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvelous thing, it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. If I have the feeling that a woman can fulfil my every seconds from the moment I meet her, I explode!
When the habitually even-tempered suddenly fly into a passion, that explosion is apt to be more impressive than the outburst of the most violent amongst us: I do scare people because of that. I cannot just like or dislike something/someone. I Love or I hate but I do not waste my time nor my feelings.
Having said that, I have this chance to be able to keep my clarity of mind in almost all situations: when I loose it, it is never for long, and I patch any mistakes I made as a first priority when back on earth. In fact, for me clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too; this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what it loves.
Have you ever had this feeling to know that it is not a fling but a great story you are starting? I had this feeling, but it takes two to tango, doesn’t it?

So, Passion… Ah Passion…
This outburst of feeling that fills you up in a blink of an eye, and consumes you!!
Not being around or hearing about the other one is intolerable! All of a sudden you are not on Earth but at the gates of the purgatory, already suffering.
Every second spent away just increases the urges to get closer, stare, touch, kiss and embrace…
This absence is pure cruelty, a torture of the mind and soreness to the heart: Absence extinguishes small passions and increases great ones, as the wind blows out a candle, and blows in a fire.
But when Passion is driving your soul, your perception of the World changes totally. I remember this dress she was wearing, oh not a gorgeous dress at all, but I also remember the aura surrounding her, this warmth and how extremely fast my heart was beating: Any piece of clothing can be sexy with a quietly passionate woman inside it!!!

Then, some say Passion disappears. I say it’s bullshit!
I am passionate for my woman every second, every fucking second my heart leaps when I think about her. During my longest relationship, I have passionately loved my partner every fucking second given to me. I have made love to her with my eyes, my brain and my body. Then, even full of deception and understanding that this story was getting nowhere cause she was also seeing somebody else, I have been passionate, joylessly passionate. Such a sin…
The worst sin - perhaps the only sin - passion can commit, is to be joyless.

I am a man of passions, look at me when I roar! Look at me, wings spread out!
Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind.

Here is my hand, spreading my fingers out in a fan.
Come on, relax and do the same.
Have your thumb touching mine, all fingers connecting. Feel me and look at me in the eyes. I miss your lips, your comfy lips.

ORCAE ITA*

Mystery,
Mysteries about our swift stay on Earth, what are we meant to do?
Why do we bother communicating? Working or humming…
Let me tell you something you have most probably been told already:
Life is a delicacy: pleasures or moans.
Why are WE here for? This I don’t know.
But I know what I am here for! I am here for her, for us to fall asleep together.
Here for her to fly with my wings. I guess I’m here for Love!
Above my roof: the sky, she runs through my mind.
The only true meaning for being here, her...
C’mon ! Let’s dance and join the ball! And under the blanket of stars, kiss!!!!
Music and mystery, this is so obvious to me.
Yes!!! I am here for her, for us to awake embracing.
I am here for her to fly with my wings!!!

But my wings are broken, and who are you?

*Pretty straightforward

Mean today

I'm feeling mean today, not lost, not blown away.Just irritated and quite hated, my self control breaks down.Why's everything so tame?I'm fabricating and debating who I'm gonna kick around.
I can't find a way to get across the hate when I see you.
I feel it scratch inside and I want to slash and beat you.
I rip apart the things inside that excited you.
I can't control myself because I fucking hate you.
I'm feeling cold today, not hurt but just fucked away: I'm devastated and frustrated.
So why'd I feel the need? I think it's time to bleed maybe just cut myself and watch the blood hit the ground.
No, actually if you open your mouth again, I swear I'm gonna break it…

The Mind, Life and the tears in my eyes

The mind is a strange and wonderful thing. I am not sure it will ever manage to figure itself out. Everything else from atoms to the Universe, everything else but itself...

When Life seems chaotic, you don't need people giving you easy answers or cheap promises. There might not be any answers to your problems. What you need is a safe place where you can bounce with people who have taken some bad hops of their own.

That is the way to support the main task of healing the pain, to repair the dents in your Life. Be surrounded by friends and people you enjoy, people who only want the best for you. In such an environment, the whole World becomes a trustful place where events are only occurring in order to help you getting out of the clouds Life put around you: it is the best place to realize that Trust exist and that it is not because one betrayed that all will.

I have been giving my Love and Trust to this woman, and she betrayed me, more than once actually. It was her who put the clouds around me and made the tears drop from my eyes. It was her who broke my heart into pieces when I realized that once again she was playing with our lives, and her who made me feel like I should have never entrusted anyone with my Life, MY LIFE! She made my blue eyes blue. But do not apologize to myself for having expressed my feelings: by doing so i would just apologize for the Truth.

I thought she was loving me as much as I was loving her, that I was all she needed to keep on being this amazing woman I once met. I thought she would keep on enjoying the man I am, and not wish I would turn into a man who wouldn’t be noticed by anyone anymore, giving her peace of mind and calming down the voices in her head: the jealousy, this disease born from insecurities about herself.

I had seen my heaven in her eyes, but my heaven is fucking gone astray! Or let say that until a few days ago, I thought it was on a totally different reality plan: the one I was coming from, now unreachable. I now know that it is wrong, that I am still in the cold but not forever… I just need to heal my pain. It will just take time, and how long doesn’t matter.

I have believed in a lie, and it is only when fully comfortable that I will let myself believe again, which means that i will have to spend enough quality time (from romantic, quiet to overwhelmed discussions). In the meantime, I will not shut myself down but let the World show me signs and meet amazing people. It is only when my blue eyes won’t be blue that I will be back to myself.

Having spent a couple of month trying either to relive the past or experience the future before it arrives, I have come to believe that in between these two extremes is peace.
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present.

I wish this could be so obvious to everyone...