The mind is a strange and wonderful thing. I am not sure it will ever manage to figure itself out. Everything else from atoms to the Universe, everything else but itself...
When Life seems chaotic, you don't need people giving you easy answers or cheap promises. There might not be any answers to your problems. What you need is a safe place where you can bounce with people who have taken some bad hops of their own.
That is the way to support the main task of healing the pain, to repair the dents in your Life. Be surrounded by friends and people you enjoy, people who only want the best for you. In such an environment, the whole World becomes a trustful place where events are only occurring in order to help you getting out of the clouds Life put around you: it is the best place to realize that Trust exist and that it is not because one betrayed that all will.
I have been giving my Love and Trust to this woman, and she betrayed me, more than once actually. It was her who put the clouds around me and made the tears drop from my eyes. It was her who broke my heart into pieces when I realized that once again she was playing with our lives, and her who made me feel like I should have never entrusted anyone with my Life, MY LIFE! She made my blue eyes blue. But do not apologize to myself for having expressed my feelings: by doing so i would just apologize for the Truth.
I thought she was loving me as much as I was loving her, that I was all she needed to keep on being this amazing woman I once met. I thought she would keep on enjoying the man I am, and not wish I would turn into a man who wouldn’t be noticed by anyone anymore, giving her peace of mind and calming down the voices in her head: the jealousy, this disease born from insecurities about herself.
I had seen my heaven in her eyes, but my heaven is fucking gone astray! Or let say that until a few days ago, I thought it was on a totally different reality plan: the one I was coming from, now unreachable. I now know that it is wrong, that I am still in the cold but not forever… I just need to heal my pain. It will just take time, and how long doesn’t matter.
I have believed in a lie, and it is only when fully comfortable that I will let myself believe again, which means that i will have to spend enough quality time (from romantic, quiet to overwhelmed discussions). In the meantime, I will not shut myself down but let the World show me signs and meet amazing people. It is only when my blue eyes won’t be blue that I will be back to myself.
Having spent a couple of month trying either to relive the past or experience the future before it arrives, I have come to believe that in between these two extremes is peace.
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present.
I wish this could be so obvious to everyone...
When Life seems chaotic, you don't need people giving you easy answers or cheap promises. There might not be any answers to your problems. What you need is a safe place where you can bounce with people who have taken some bad hops of their own.
That is the way to support the main task of healing the pain, to repair the dents in your Life. Be surrounded by friends and people you enjoy, people who only want the best for you. In such an environment, the whole World becomes a trustful place where events are only occurring in order to help you getting out of the clouds Life put around you: it is the best place to realize that Trust exist and that it is not because one betrayed that all will.
I have been giving my Love and Trust to this woman, and she betrayed me, more than once actually. It was her who put the clouds around me and made the tears drop from my eyes. It was her who broke my heart into pieces when I realized that once again she was playing with our lives, and her who made me feel like I should have never entrusted anyone with my Life, MY LIFE! She made my blue eyes blue. But do not apologize to myself for having expressed my feelings: by doing so i would just apologize for the Truth.
I thought she was loving me as much as I was loving her, that I was all she needed to keep on being this amazing woman I once met. I thought she would keep on enjoying the man I am, and not wish I would turn into a man who wouldn’t be noticed by anyone anymore, giving her peace of mind and calming down the voices in her head: the jealousy, this disease born from insecurities about herself.
I had seen my heaven in her eyes, but my heaven is fucking gone astray! Or let say that until a few days ago, I thought it was on a totally different reality plan: the one I was coming from, now unreachable. I now know that it is wrong, that I am still in the cold but not forever… I just need to heal my pain. It will just take time, and how long doesn’t matter.
I have believed in a lie, and it is only when fully comfortable that I will let myself believe again, which means that i will have to spend enough quality time (from romantic, quiet to overwhelmed discussions). In the meantime, I will not shut myself down but let the World show me signs and meet amazing people. It is only when my blue eyes won’t be blue that I will be back to myself.
Having spent a couple of month trying either to relive the past or experience the future before it arrives, I have come to believe that in between these two extremes is peace.
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present.
I wish this could be so obvious to everyone...
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