I love life...Yeah, I'm sad, but at the same time, I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like...It makes me feel alive, you know. It makes me feel human. The only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what I'm feeling is like a beautiful sadness.
I kept thinking about the ‘swimmer in us’ concept thing…
I came to realize that I forgot about one category last time! I forgot about the most important category actually, and I feel a bit stupid about that.
I took for granted that every good ‘swimmer’ would be thrilled about jumping in the ocean and enjoy the waves! I took for granted that when you have a natural skill, you use it…
Well, I have been stupid and it is important to clarify things and try to be as exact as possible now.
Some of these natural ‘swimmers’ refuse to swim, they simply refuse. They rather use their natural buoyancy and only float. They just seem to be afraid of the freedom and the amazing feeling that swimming full speed provides, breathtaking act: going straight for Christ sake, and never turn back! And while traveling why not thinking about who/what you meet but never refuse what the World has to offer because of prejudices or clichés.
Well some ‘swimmers’ just refuse and also stick to the clichés.
Of course, Life leaves scars and it takes time to mend the wounds. But why the fuck refusing to get back into the arena and fight?
How long does it take to move on? What does it take, how long does it take?
I thought that after taking a big turn in ones life, even if it seems to be more of a U turn sometimes, only heart and body needed time and were simply refusing to help swimming again. Well, I have also to change my mind on this one. Heart and body are mending but are still making sure the swimmer keeps on going, for as long as the mind wants to: I’m adding a third player in this game of Life.
But then, are we saying that moving on is only a matter of mind and not primarily a matter of heart/body? What about this one: the heart recovers faster than the mind but starts protecting itself even when the mind isn’t aware that something is happening… There would be a natural defense mechanism, a sentinel, in us shutting down some vital emotional functions but unfortunately without reporting the shutdown to the mind. In a sense, when your love life is going down the drain, your heart is already wearing the armor and getting ready for the coming clash… It will, therefore, be healed before one can expect: because it was aware and protected…
But then, what is the mind’s task?
Well, if the heart is ready to function then it is the mind that has tasks to complete before the next take off, and I actually believe that there is only one task: taking care of the pain left behind…
So, reaching completion is moving on.
Managing to locate these spots of pain, and curing them: that is the task of the recovering swimmer.
I have found these islands of pain, almost totally I hope: I feel that I am full of passion and I want to unleash it. Not in a chaotic way, no: I want to give it all to one and enjoy all that comes with it.
Passionate nights and cuddly mornings, warm coffee over morning smile as well as bubbly champagne in bed between a thousand kisses and her thousand smiles.
I will not accept compromises with myself about that.
I have been bending too much and I’d rather not give than not give properly.
I have been looking at my wings lately, drooling: flying high again would be a treat. Too bad it isn’t happening, I say… I say ‘you should give it a try’!
I say that things come in time…
And the eternity is long, mainly at the end…
I kept thinking about the ‘swimmer in us’ concept thing…
I came to realize that I forgot about one category last time! I forgot about the most important category actually, and I feel a bit stupid about that.
I took for granted that every good ‘swimmer’ would be thrilled about jumping in the ocean and enjoy the waves! I took for granted that when you have a natural skill, you use it…
Well, I have been stupid and it is important to clarify things and try to be as exact as possible now.
Some of these natural ‘swimmers’ refuse to swim, they simply refuse. They rather use their natural buoyancy and only float. They just seem to be afraid of the freedom and the amazing feeling that swimming full speed provides, breathtaking act: going straight for Christ sake, and never turn back! And while traveling why not thinking about who/what you meet but never refuse what the World has to offer because of prejudices or clichés.
Well some ‘swimmers’ just refuse and also stick to the clichés.
Of course, Life leaves scars and it takes time to mend the wounds. But why the fuck refusing to get back into the arena and fight?
How long does it take to move on? What does it take, how long does it take?
I thought that after taking a big turn in ones life, even if it seems to be more of a U turn sometimes, only heart and body needed time and were simply refusing to help swimming again. Well, I have also to change my mind on this one. Heart and body are mending but are still making sure the swimmer keeps on going, for as long as the mind wants to: I’m adding a third player in this game of Life.
But then, are we saying that moving on is only a matter of mind and not primarily a matter of heart/body? What about this one: the heart recovers faster than the mind but starts protecting itself even when the mind isn’t aware that something is happening… There would be a natural defense mechanism, a sentinel, in us shutting down some vital emotional functions but unfortunately without reporting the shutdown to the mind. In a sense, when your love life is going down the drain, your heart is already wearing the armor and getting ready for the coming clash… It will, therefore, be healed before one can expect: because it was aware and protected…
But then, what is the mind’s task?
Well, if the heart is ready to function then it is the mind that has tasks to complete before the next take off, and I actually believe that there is only one task: taking care of the pain left behind…
So, reaching completion is moving on.
Managing to locate these spots of pain, and curing them: that is the task of the recovering swimmer.
I have found these islands of pain, almost totally I hope: I feel that I am full of passion and I want to unleash it. Not in a chaotic way, no: I want to give it all to one and enjoy all that comes with it.
Passionate nights and cuddly mornings, warm coffee over morning smile as well as bubbly champagne in bed between a thousand kisses and her thousand smiles.
I will not accept compromises with myself about that.
I have been bending too much and I’d rather not give than not give properly.
I have been looking at my wings lately, drooling: flying high again would be a treat. Too bad it isn’t happening, I say… I say ‘you should give it a try’!
I say that things come in time…
And the eternity is long, mainly at the end…
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