The tenderness which slept in me...

I am the only one
who understands me in my ebony dreams.
Why can't I be just like them ...happy?
Life is gone, beautiful.
My suffering eyes drown in delusion and my body paled now cold.
Let the silence bloom as I never will arise in your arms again.
I've died with a smile, 'cause no one did really search the tenderness which slept in me...

But, surprinsigly, life hasn't totally left my body and i can still feel my heart pumping.
The strenght isn't what it used to but still i feel myself able to rise!

I vividly remember this evening, or early morning, when i asked you to be mine.
We were just partners for three weeks, and hiding from the others your friends, and ex boyfriend.
We were drunk of happiness.
I was dreaming out loud asking you to fly to the states the following day and marry me.
We were also drunk...
Is it why you refused or was it already a premice to the trouble we went through?

I don't regret this moment, I never did and I am still proud of it!
I still feel the power of my voice when, even if i was not able to focus, all i wanted was to make sure your hand would lay in mine for a lifetime as we would stroll the alleys of our future life.

This thought created a lot of pain previously but i now know that i should be looking forward to be floded again.
I will now recognize it and make sure this wave of passion leads me, without resistance.
Yes, I am scared of falling again, but also so willing to let myself be hurt again: it will only prove that I have again been true to myself, but also that i have .
My tenderness will never leave me...
It is for me to preciously guard it, and use it to love my people, my tribe.

Keep your thoughts to yourself and they will for always be lost, share them and they will become travel through minds...