The mentally deranged...

There's that something in your eyes again, I can't get you to speak.
I try to catch your gaze: Are you watching someone else? I try to hold you up, but you go limp and you feel so cold.
I try to get you to communicate but you are stuck, controlling your own fate!
Can you hear me? Can you fucking hear me????
I think maybe not...
Can you bear me? Can you still fucking bear me?
Holding on to what I haven't got anymore...
And so I swallow the bitter pill, turn my back and head for home, tears in my eyes.
Fading will.
Please don't do that to us again, stay beside me. We are so great, aren't you satisfied?
Don't you feel secure, strong and complete?
Now I'm the mentally deranged...

It was on October 31st that you took me home. I was a bit tipsy, but still able to drive. You were here, and i was focused on you. Oh, it never crossed my mind that you were interested in me.
In fact, since this this long phonecall we had on a sunday i thought you would never want more than laughing with me.

Remember? Sunday, around 2pm, i took my phone and as i was laying on the floor i asked you to come over and have champagne, cherries together with some chocoloate mouss.

I love to fix chocolate mouss for people i like, strange huh?

You teased me, you told me where you were, and what you were not wearing. Of course, never using the words, as you were with Him, but only using metaphores.

Do you remember?

The phonecall lasted a long long time and it ended fast. You had to meet Him and i had to go back to bed.

In between? Dreams of nothingness happening in this stupid city of Manila.

And came this street party.

Where was i coming from? I don't remember, but i do know i was wearing a suit on a saturday night. What the hell was this function?

I was so bored out of my mind that i decided to go to a bar and get tipsy, not drunk.

I stepped into the bar and i saw you.

We spent the evening together, your friend was flirting with another man.

Came the time to go home, and i thought you would enjoy a ride home.

I had nothing in mind, i am so bad with these things, and I didn't even think about anything when i accepted to have a coffee at your place. It was 5am, the sun was rising.

You never brought the coffee but instead reappeared wearing a white silk sexy outfit.

We made love, or maybe should i say: we had sex.

I slept over and asked you to join me for a coffee. You were happy to see me getting out of your place.

I think, i know, i seduced you during our coffee talk. I was already seduced.

Brain crumbles over morning coffee, the erotism of an awaking mind.

You were sipping a hot chocolate, low fat milk, no whipped cream: i was drinking your words.

That's how it started, didn't it? That how we got into the rollercoaster...

Mentally deranged no more.